I am a seeker. Always have been. Wanting answers to questions, trying to find meaning. What is this place? Why am I here? Is this it? Is there an end to my questions? Will I ever be satisfied by the answers? The insignificance of this third rock from the sun is so evident to me. Is there anything that can quench my thirst?
These questions had led me to the path to seek Myself. Now, after years of seeking, I have finally landed where I began. I have started to abide in my own Self nature. I had built up my expectations so much that I never realized that the answer was staring at me the whole time.
I will never know myself like I know an object.
Why? Because there is no off switch for myself. When am I never me? The way my mind learns things is by compare and contrast. That is a table. This box is not a table. So by comparing the absence of the table, I have learnt to recognize what the table looks like. But I cannot apply this strategy to myself, because I am always myself!
To take another example, I can never see my real eye. I can only see a reflection of it. Either in a mirror, or in a photograph. Think about that for a minute, I can never see my own eye. I have never seen my own eye, yet I know that I can see. That’s quite mind blowing. Similarly, I can never know myself as an object. Yet I know I exist. I exist because I can feel myself, through my awareness. I shine with awareness, just like the sun shines. Just like the sun illumines all with its light, the same way my own awareness illumines all objects. Whenever I open my eyes, the visual world is illumined to me by my awareness.
So ladies and gentlemen, when you realize that you are beyond both this experience and the experiencer, you my friend, have landed in your own essential nature. You are pure awareness, ever fresh, full of bliss and constantly shining. And this is what I have been seeking my whole life! This is the nectar of all effort.
